I had a pretty rambly essay about my current state of mind, which is to say, quite horrid. Then somewhere along the line, I decided against posting it and trashed it instead.
I can only ponder about why I did such a thing.
Was I being responsible?
Am I thinking about what sort of trail I am leaving on the Internet for others to find?
Isn’t that an extension of being afraid of looking bad?
Or am I growing up and this is just a sign that I know of what I am thinking about?
If yes, why does it feel like I am stifling myself?
Is this how growing up feels like?
So, my business associates and I decided to throw a homebrew (Yes, we are simultaneously cost conscious [haha] and awesome like that) poolside karaoke party yesterday. The party got off to a slow start when we had to source for 3.5mm audio cables and had a blast yakking over dinner and by the time we started with the singing proper, it was past 10pm.
And we were just done with a particularly rousing rendition of Backstreet Boys’ I Want it That Way at around 1015pm when we were (barely) politely stopped by some middle aged dude with a t-shirt that had a cute saying. He told us (In a voice dripping with crank) that according to the rules around here, we should have shut down by 10pm and we were disturbing people from sleeping.
However, we did call the management a few days ago and they told us to pack up by 11pm. And he had a point: Somewhere in that vast apartment complex, there were probably about five other guys who needed to sleep at 10pm (y’know, so that they could wake up on Monday morning fresh and ready for work!).
And I even know where he’s coming from. I found myself annoyed at people (joyously) singing songs by 90s boybands in the past. But it got me to thinking.
What if instead of getting cranky at people having illegal amounts of fun, you asked to join in instead?
What if instead of trying to be the obstacle to someone’s fun in the office when he laughs too hard from a joke he read online, you say instead “What’s so goddamned funny? I want in too!”
Why is it that nothing annoys us more than the joy of a stranger (and oftentimes even people close to us)?
Did we all turn into soul sucking vampire grinches?
I will Teach You to be Rich
Go to the above and read everything about finding your dream job.
So, prior to taking my most recent job, I didn’t do the due diligence. I didn’t interview the existing staff and ask what it is like working here. I thought the glory would be good and the riches would be commensurate.
The problem is that glory can only come if you can influence it and if your way of thinking is alien, take up rate will be low and the changes you are hired to bring about will be slow and therefore take longer than your probation period would allow.
Also, try not to allow your ego to dictate what you will or will not do. Let your current life objectives do that.
Unfortunately I am having a bad time now because I didn’t take my own advice.
Go future me.
Your Mileage May Vary
Write about anything. Aimlessly. Don’t try to put morals in it. It could be a rant but do follow the prime directive about Internet Rants:
Google will find out. When Google finds out, other people will find out.
Long walks. Zone out while walking. Bonus: write down profitable ideas.
Music. Best ones match the circumstances of your Emo.
Physical activity. Preferably those that doesn’t allow you to think while doing.
Accidentally find out about the deep shit your close friends may be in. It will put your own troubles in perspective. It takes a while to change this from schadenfreude to more productive emotions. Just remember that you aren’t a special snowflake.
Go look at a picture of your favourite scenery. Then zone out. Again, you may want to keep pen and paper nearby.
Get intimate with someone. If you do it right, you might not even be an energy vampire. On second thought. Don’t. It’s impossible not to be an energy vampire while emo.
WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T DO ANYTHING THAT STIMULATES YOUR DOPAMINE SYSTEM TOO QUICKLY.
Translation: Don’t do anything that generate quick large rushes of pleasure. Examples include:
– Recreational Drugs
– Porn -> Masturbation -> Orgasm
The reason is simple: That path lies the path of addiction and therefore more Emo.