I railed. I railed against inevitability, against reality as only a human can rail.
I fought the future. And I could not tell if the future is all in my head or because it is all in my head, so shall it be.
Perhaps after all the optimism I project onto people, the one person I could not do the same to is myself.
Would someone please tell me that things would be better? That I would have the rest I so desire? That all this time of abusing my body will yield at least the rest that I want?
Would someone please help me?