I had a pretty rambly essay about my current state of mind, which is to say, quite horrid. Then somewhere along the line, I decided against posting it and trashed it instead.
I can only ponder about why I did such a thing.
Was I being responsible?
Am I thinking about what sort of trail I am leaving on the Internet for others to find?
Isn’t that an extension of being afraid of looking bad?
Or am I growing up and this is just a sign that I know of what I am thinking about?
If yes, why does it feel like I am stifling myself?
Is this how growing up feels like?